mondays...

as a general rule, monday is a hectic day. over the summer, the mondays got more hectic, the weeks more stressful, and the quiet times at home, well...they got much lonelier. summer of 2009 will go down in the books as a pretty crappy one.

the happenings of my summer caused me to neglect a lot of things in my life...for a while diet, running, job responsibilities, but mostly the little things. even though i didn't give the proper amount of attention to him, i could always count on my jack (my dog) to give love and attention no matter what. today, i found out he has heartworms. apparently he was one of the things i neglected too. he has started his treatment, and everything should be ok, but i can't help but feel like i let him down. he gave me his love and attention, and i failed to supply him with his needs. it's a good thing i have no children.

this summer has been one of the worst of my life. i'm finding that i'm a late bloomer on adult things...mortgage, love, hurt, in that order. just cause it happens later in life, doesn't mean it's any easier. they say life gets better as you get older, and it does, for sure. as much as it gets better, it gets harder. you definitely learn a lot of life lessons. i am sitting here as i write dealing with a ton of emotions and trying my best to fight a few urges as a result of those emotions. all stemming from a summer of hurt and a monday from hell.

days like today and summers like i've had are what normally drive people to run or work harder at something. i, on the other hand, tend to pull away. tonight, i am also fighting the urge to climb back into a shell that doesn't include running. december 6 is what will force me to be diligent and fight that urge. tomorrow, i will drag myself out of bed, i will run, i will go to work, and i will push the emotions away. i will pick up my dog, and pray that i have not neglected him too long.

didn't mom say there would be days like this? she did, but she didn't mention there would be more than one....