Thursday, September 10, 2009

out of control

to quote my friend margie, life has been 'out of control' lately. it's been a while since i last wrote and so much has happened. to avoid crying, i probably won't dive into too much detail.

in the time i've been away, i've continued tending to a sick dog, working hard, and running when i can. also in the time i've been away, i had to make the hardest decision ever. to put my dog out of misery. this is where i won't go into much detail to avoid more tears. i will say that after everything that could go wrong went wrong, i had to make the hard decision to put my best bud to sleep. there just wasn't much more we could do that we hadn't tried. it was one of the hardest days of my life. i will leave it at that.

during these times, i've tried to keep running. i have missed a run or two, and made up a run or two. last week, i ended up with 33 miles, but was supposed to hit 36. my long run was 16 miles. i did 13 of those miles with a friend i've never run with before, and it was a very pleasant and enjoyable run. it started out dark and rainy, so me getting out of the car was a big deal and giant step toward my old running self. celebrate the victory!

this week is a down week, and i've already missed a 7 mile run, but after a 12 hour work day, there isn't much i can do about all that. tuesday's and wednesday's runs were both 8 miles. tuesday, which was the awful day, was a pretty good run. for those who don't believe it, running really does help the mind as much, if not more sometimes, as the body. tuesday's run was a HUGE help in dealing with my grief. wednesday's run, not so great. i was thrilled to be running with vicki who i hadn't seen in almost a week, but i felt terrible. i blame it on work stress and grief fatigue. i will keep plugging this week, hitting a yoga class tomorrow, and runs when i can. next week, maybe life will begin returning to normal so i can return to normal training. i should say life will become a new normal. the old normal would include my dog, who i'm missing tremendously.

this week has also been joyous. a co-worker and his wife, also my friends, became parents to beautiful twin girls. i'm thrilled for them and this wonderful new addition to their life. they've had a long, and often exciting journey to parenthood.

this week has also been stressful and exciting at work. my building, the Ogletree Alumni House, which was built in 1912 and housed the university president until the 70's, was recently reopened after an 18 month restoration and expansion project. for weeks, we've been preparing for this week's festivities. tonight, we hosted upper level donors for a special reception, which was wonderful. tomorrow, we cut the ribbon. tomorrow is the BIG day, and to say nerves are on fire is an understatement. so as i write this, my mind is racing for all i need to prepare for mentally tomorrow. i'm also propping up my feet to allow them recovery from the 3 inch heels i wore today and will again wear tomorrow.

i'll never forget this week. the week i grieved and celebrated all at once, literally. the same day i began grieving to my best friend for 9 years, i also rejoiced with friends for the birth of two new lives. the same week i cried and shed more tears than ever in my life, i laughed and smiled with friends in celebration of exciting times with the alumni association. it's been an array of every emotion possible, but that's when life is it's most challenging and rewarding. you learn how strong you are for sure.

i truly hope this is the end of my trials for quite a while. i'm ready for something good!


  1. I'm sorry to hear about the sadness, and thrilled to hear about the joy. Much love and many hugs, my friend!

  2. I certainly hope the road ahead is smooth, calm, and rewarding. You deserve some joy and peace. Hope to run with you sometime soon.